888mph | Unicorns crapping rainbows! Yay! Ack...

Title: Gravity-Defying House (Chapter 6/6) <- COMPLETE

Rating: I don't know... teen?

Pairing/characters: Dean/Cas, Sam, Bobby, Gabriel, a surprise character, an OC that I absolutely needed for plot and, you know, a baby. Mentions of Balthazar, Joshua, Jimmy and others.

Spoilers: Blanket for all aired eps.

Warnings/Kinks (aren't they the same?): MPREG!, established relationship, Gabriel is back from the dead, awesome!Sam, there WILL be some early stages of labour, but then it fades-to-black, mentions of sexual situations, there's some gender-bending at first, schmoop (no, really), angst (no, really), crack/humour, the baby isn't welcomed at first and notions of ending the pregnancy are entertained. ANGELS ARE DICKS! Like, really. Even Cas is going to be a complete SOB at first. Happy ending.

A/N: Author notes and list of people to blame are on the first post. This chapter was beta-ed by

greenelysium. I wuv u, BB, just as much as Dean wuvs hugs. <3

Writing schmoop is probably harder and more mortifying than writing a birth scene, JSYK.

Summary: So what you're saying is that basically angels are dicks.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Sam and Bobby are mopping the floor, while Claire removes the sheets to be burned with the mattress, when suddenly Cas and Gabriel are standing in the middle of the room.

"Uh," says Gabriel. "You were recreating a scene from The Shinning here, right? Right?"

Cas looks around, taking in the blood on the floor and the bed. His eyes stop for a moment on Claire, who hides behind Sam, averting her gaze, and he seems surprised to see her. Then he's looking at Sam, he's pleading with him, obviously trying to understand what happened.

Bobby steps forward and shoves Cas on the shoulder. Cas must have been caught off-guard, because he stumbles back, like Bobby's strength would be enough against an angel.

"Where were you, you idjit? Do you know how long it took? Do you have any idea how much pain Dean was in? We could have lost him. Both of them!" Bobby shoves Cas again. Cas looks at him, eyes wide and panicking and Sam never saw him look so human.

Until he grabs Bobby by the neck and lifts him from the ground effortlessly with one hand, that is.

"Where. Are. They?" Cas asks, marking each word by shaking Bobby. Claire shrieks and even Gabriel looks surprised. Sam catches Cas' arm, intent to hopefully stop him if he tries to fly away.

"They're both sleeping in my room," Sam says, trying to sound calm for Bobby's sake. "I'll walk you there. No flying, because I don't want the baby waking up."

Cas lets go of Bobby, who gasps, rubbing his neck, and motions Sam to go ahead. Sam hands the mop to Gabriel, ignoring his protests, and drags Cas to his own room.

They both stop once Sam opens the door.

In the faint moonlight coming from outside they can see Dean sleeping on his side, face turned to the small crib placed near the bed. Cas takes a deep breath and walks towards the crib. Sam follows him.

John (that's what Dean decided to call him and, yeah, Sam gets it. He really does) has a white onesy and a matching beanie on. He twitches his arms a little and makes a face in his sleep and Sam can see Cas' eyebrows shooting up, while his mouth curls up in a smile.

"Cas?"

They turn to see Dean trying to sit up on the bed. He gasps in pain and Sam grimaces in sympathy. In a second Cas is sitting at Dean's side and touches him with two fingers. Even in the half-light Sam can see how relief washes over his brother's features and Dean slumps against Cas' shoulder.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you, Cas?" Dean is whispering, but even so Sam can hear how tired he sounds.

"Heaven. Or rather, the Host." Cas shifts a little, like he's embarrassed. "The Host put sigils all around South Dakota and when I tried to come here, I was sent to Heaven, where I was held captive. Even Joshua wasn't able to leave and that says a lot about how willing the Host was on keeping me there." He pauses. "Gabriel had to go into hiding, because our Brothers were tracking him down. Even Balthazar had to hide."

"But why?" Sam asks. "Why did they want to keep you away?"

Cas takes a while to answer, moving his head from side to side, like he's seeing the room for the first time and is very interested in his surroundings. Sam half expects Cas to ask where he bought the armchair.

"We were being too arrogant, too easily convinced that what happened to you was going to be taken care of by mine and Gabriel's powers. My Brothers believed Dean was abusing my capacities and decided to give us a punishment."

"So what you're saying is that basically angels are dicks," Dean points out.

"In their defense I believe that if you or the baby were in any real danger, they would have let me return." Cas smiles, but he doesn't disagree with Dean.

"Wait." Sam just remembered something. "Balthazar went into hiding, too? Why? Because I can't exactly see him moving one finger to help Dean."

Cas shrugs.

"The Host was never any good in character judgment where other angels are concerned."

Dean lets out a huff of laughter then he lies down again, turning to the crib. Cas lies down behind him, his head propped up in one hand.

"So, did you see him?" Dean asks him.

"Of course."

"He's tiny."

"He's perfect, Dean."

Sam stands there watching the scene in front of him with a stupid grin on his face, until someone taps on his shoulder. He turns to see Martha beckoning him to follow her.

"That was private," she tells him once they're outside the room (his room. Sam is back in the panic room for the night).

Sam blushes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite all the interference from the Host, it's actually nice that your nephew's other father is an angel. When Cas healed Dean, he really healed him, reverting him back to how he was before Gabriel put the whammy on him (of course, Dean was much more graphic when explaining it to him, but Sam doesn't want to remember that). So the next day Dean was out of the bed, like he hadn't just been through almost two days of labor and major blood loss. In addiction to that Cas doesn't sleep and John is using formula, so theirs is probably the only household with a newborn baby where no one is suffering from sleep deprivation.

And if needed they have the perfect babysitter on call: Claire. Gabriel put a spell on her, making her see a completely different face whenever she looks at Cas. Sure, he'll always be the one who took her dad away from her and she won't talk to him unless it's absolutely necessary, but at least she can come and not have a constant reminder of what she lost. And she loves John and wants to be around him as much as she can (she helped bring him to this world, after all).

Sam gets back from the library where he picked some info for a case Rufus is working on and sees Dean working on a car and Cas sitting on the hood of a pick-up, going through an old tome.

"Hey, where's John?" He asks them.

"Bobby took him to town," Dean replies from under the hood.

"Yes," says Cas, without raising his eyes from the book. "Bobby claims older women are very responsive to a widower doting on his newborn grandchild."

Dean gets his head from under the hood and stares at Cas.

"Dude, are you saying Bobby is using my kid to pick up ladies?"

"Our kid. And yes, I believe that's it."

Dean makes a face and Sam laughs.

"You two are weird," he tells them. Dean raises an eyebrow at him. "First time in two weeks alone without the baby and this is how you chose to spend it? Weird, man."

Dean nods, pointing a finger at Sam, like Sam just said the smartest thing in his lifetime, and then taps Cas on the shoulder.

"Race you to the bedroom," he says, before running inside.

Cas continues reading a moment longer and then closes the book. Sam frowns at him.

"You forget I can fly," Cas says and with a rush of feathers he's gone.

The END (or is it?)